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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816872">Wrong Place, Wrong Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amee19/pseuds/Amee19'>Amee19</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wrong Timing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SKAM (France)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Abortion, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not a monster, M/M, Mpreg, Probably the angstiest thing I've ever written, but there's a happy ending i swear, you know me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:26:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816872</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amee19/pseuds/Amee19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's everything Eliott could ever have dreamed of but it's happening early. Too early. And because of that, he knows he and Lucas won't get to enjoy this.</p><p>Eliott tries to be a supporting boyfriend no matter how much his heart aches while Lucas tries to come to terms of what's happening. They're having a baby but they're not keeping it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Wrong Timing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wrong Place, Wrong Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Me + Elu + Mpreg? More likely than you think 😉</p><p>So those of you who have heard my previous works know I almost only write Mpreg but this one is different though. My brief experience with social workers and the whole adoption process have taught me that it takes A LOT of courage to give up on a baby and that it can't be easy to do. I know some parts of this fic might seem like I'm demonizing the whole process of adoption but those are the boys' thoughts as they go through it ❤💜❤💜❤ Besides, I'm not French so there's a 99,99987% chance that the process is not accurate to reality.</p><p>Please, let me know what you thought in the comments ❤💜❤ you have no idea how much it means the world to me that people like what I write so please, tell me if yoh enjoyed it ❤❤❤</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <em>July 10, 7:56</em> </span>
</p><p>18. That's how old Lucas is turning in just a few more hours. He should be happy right now, wondering what are his friends and boyfriend planning to surprise him with at midnight but his birthday is actually the furthest thing on his mind. All he can think of is the white stick that's waiting for him on the bathroom's vanity. They bought the test yesterday after they've finally pulled their head out of their asses and acknowledged what was right in front of them. The nausea, the cramps, the bleeding, all of those symptoms he had been experimenting for the last month. They all only meant one thing.</p><p>But this morning, Lucas is absolutely terrified of this white stick and of what it means for him, for Eliott, for them as a couple. He doesn't want to leave the bed, no matter how heavy the pressure on his bladder is, and face reality. But that's just not how life goes and behind him, his boyfriend sighs and tightens his arms around him, pressing kisses all over his bare shoulder.</p><p>They've both been awake for a while now, they barely slept all night anyway, but neither said a word so far and just kept on holding each other as the hours went by, pulling them closer to the inevitable.</p><p>"You don't have to do this today," Eliott suggests after a moment, his voice hoarse from not talking. "We can wait another day if you want. You don't-"</p><p>"No," Lucas interrupts him, rolling around so he's now facing his boyfriend, his fingertips slowly playing with Eliott's stubble. "I think we've been acting like ostriches for long enough. It's time we find out if we were right so we can decide what we're going to do."</p><p>It's not like they have that many options to choose from. Only three actually; abortion, adoption or parenthood, but that's already enough to tear his mind apart as he tries to do the pros and cons of each possibility.</p><p>Sighing, he pushes the covers off him and sits up, Eliott immediately following after him and plastering himself all over Lucas' back.</p><p>"Do you want me to be with you?" he whispers, his lips brushing over Lucas' pulse.</p><p>It's a stupid question. It's not like he's about to put on a show. All he's going to do is pee on a plastic stick and wait two minutes to get the results. What is Eliott supposed to do with him in there? Watch him pee? Hold the stick for him? That's stupid…</p><p>"Please," he begs his boyfriend, leaning back into his embrace, blinking back some tears.</p><p>So they stand up, not bothering to dress up, and make their way to the bathroom, clutching at each other's hands. Lucas is the one who might be pregnant but Eliott is just as allowed as him to freak out right now. After all, it's not just Lucas' possible baby but theirs.</p><p>Once they reach the bathroom, Eliott steps in after Lucas as the younger boy pushes down his boxers with shaking hands and holds the stick as he does what he needs to. Beside him, his boyfriend remains uncharacteristically silent, rubbing his back as Lucas pees. It's only when he nearly drops the stick into the toilet that Eliott intervenes. He takes the stick from Lucas and puts the cap back on it before putting it on the vanity and pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug. Without letting go of him, Eliott maneuvers them until they're both sitting down on the floor with their back to the wall.</p><p>"No matter what you choose to do," he whispers as he presses a kiss to Lucas' forehead, "I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm going to support you no matter what your decision is."</p><p>And just for once, Lucas really wishes his boyfriend could stop being so perfect. He wishes Eliott could tell him what he wants so taking a decision could be easier. But he knows Eliott would never in any way try to influence him.</p><p>Truth is, Lucas really has no idea of what he's supposed to do. Abortion is an absolute no. He can't ever picture himself getting rid of his and Eliott's child. He believes it's a choice everyone should have when they get pregnant but he can't imagine himself going through the procedure so that's one least option to consider.</p><p>Adoption or parenthood. They're 18 and 20 and he barely just graduated from high school. They would have to be absolutely crazy to believe they can actually raise a child right now. Maybe in a few years when things will be different but for now, they're still children themselves. There's tons of parents who are dreaming of having a child. They would treat the baby properly and give them everything a kid needs, they would be the parents he and Eliott aren't quite ready to be yet.</p><p>But a part of him, bigger than he would have thought, is screaming at him to keep the baby and raise it, that as long as they love the child and do their best for them, it's enough to make them good parents. Lucas tries to imagine them balancing parenthood and work and school all together. If some managed to before, why wouldn't they?</p><p>But he cannot be selfish right now. As much as it would pain him to give up his and Eliott's baby for adoption, they would be doing it to give this child the best chances in life and isn't it what parenthood is all about in the end? To give their kid their best chance? Even if it means giving them up to someone else?</p><p>***</p><p>The two minutes go by agonizingly slow. Each second feels like it's taking forever and shatters Eliott's heart a little more. He meant what he said to Lucas about supporting him no matter what he chooses to do, but he can't help but be wishful.</p><p>The three options scare the living shit out of him. Parenthood isn't something they were planning to experience so early into their young lives but now that it's a possibility, he imagines those three options.</p><p>He knows Lucas would never go through an abortion. Not that he's against it but Eliott knows him well enough to know he would never, ever, go through the procedure so the real choice his boyfriend has to pick from is either adoption or to keep the baby and raise them. If it came down to the older boy, he would choose in a heartbeat.</p><p>It might be unreasonable and stupid and selfish to decide to raise a child while they're only 20 and 18 but Eliott can't help it. A baby that's half him, half Lucas. A little human being that was created out of their love for each other. What isn't there to love about it? He knows a baby wouldn't exactly be a walk in the park with both of them still in school, especially with him being bipolar but if there's anyone Eliott can do this with, it's Lucas.</p><p>He can't force the decision upon his boyfriend though all he can do is hope and pray to a God he doesn't really believe in that Lucas will decide to keep the baby. Eliott wants to spoil his boyfriend, baby him through the whole pregnancy. He wants to spend hours laying in bed with Lucas as he rubs his growing bump as they try to agree on a name. He wants to paint a nursery and build a crib with Idriss and Sofiane for his unborn baby. He wants to tell everyone he's going to be a father. He wants to go a shopping trip and bring home more plushies and toys the baby could ever wish for. He wants to tease his parents and call them Grandma and Grandpa. But it's a decision Lucas and Lucas only will take and Eliott promises himself to support him no matter what he will choose to do.</p><p>After what feels like forever, the time finally goes off on his phone and his own hands start shaking as he blindly reaches up on the vanity for the test. Clutching desperately at whoever might be listening to his prayers, he asks one more time for Lucas to agree to keep the baby before bringing the stick to his and his boyfriend's face. Two stripes. Positive. Holding his breath, he looks down to Lucas and finds his boyfriend trying to hold back more tears from falling down.</p><p>"Lucas?" he worries, his voice trembling.</p><p>"We can't raise them right now," Lucas states before looking up to him, his face like he's about to break down. "I think we should put them up to adoption."</p><p>The words shatter what is left if Eliott's heart in his chest but just like he promised Lucas, he will support him so he swallows the lump that had formed into the throat and nods.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"Okay," Lucas repeats after him before burying his face into the crook of the older boy's neck as Eliott wraps his arms around him.</p><p>One second goes by, then two and then finally, both boys burst into tears, holding each other tightly as realization dawns on them.</p><p>***</p><p>Hours later, once Lucas succumbs to exhaustion and falls asleep in Eliott's arms on the bathroom's floor after crying all of the tears he has inside of him, the older boy carefully sits up, lifting his boyfriend's body. Then, he slowly walks to their bedroom and puts Lucas to bed, covering him up with blankets. He leaves a note on the nightstand, telling him he's gone on a walk and will come back later.</p><p>He might have comforted his boyfriend earlier but now is time for him to mourn the child he'll never get to know, that he won't get to see grow up, or walk to school on their first day or spend nights awake as they're teething and they just can't fall asleep. He won't get any of those moments, at least not anytime soon. They'll surely have children later, when the timing will be better but even if they end up having a dozen of kids, none of them will ever replace this one, the baby who is already growing inside of Lucas but that he'll try avoid getting attached to as as soon as they'll be born, someone is going to take them away.</p><p>He manages to hold back his own tears as he walks down the street. His body is pretty much working automatically right now, his steps leading him to the place where he knows he'll get the comfort he's so desperate for.</p><p>But the closer he gets to his parents, the more scared he gets. They could be at work for all he knows. He still knocks on their door though and waits for an answer which comes quickly.</p><p>His mother opens the door, looking worried when she sees the state he's in. His father appears a second later, wearing an apron covered with flour. He must have been cooking.</p><p>"Eliott?" his mother worries, gently cupping his cheeks with her delicate hands. "My love, what's wrong?"</p><p>"Lucas is pregnant," he confesses, his voice breaking at the end. "Lucas is pregnant but we're giving the baby for adoption."</p><p>A sob rips its way out of his throat as he breaks down into tears, sagging into his mother's arms who immediately pulls him into a tight hug. He can hear her and his father's voices telling him it's going to be okay, he can feel their hands rubbing his back, their fingers running through his hair but he remains inconsolable. He and Lucas are having a baby but they aren't becoming parents.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>September 23, 19:21</em> </span>
</p><p>Despite Lucas' fears, Eliott doesn't resent him for deciding to put the baby up for adoption. He can tell his boyfriend is disappointed, sad, heartbroken even but there's not a single trace of anger in his voice or behavior. Just the same sadness Lucas feels as he wishes too they could keep the baby and raise them themselves but he doesn't think they could actually be good parents at the moment. In a few years yes. Just now right now.</p><p>If anything, Lucas is the one angry at himself, a feeling which only grows as his pregnancy goes on. He breaks down into tears at the first scan when the baby appears on screen, looking like a little bean. He breaks down into tears when he starts showing and he isn't even happy about it as it means the inevitable moment when someone will take their baby away is approaching. He breaks down into tears when he tells his mother they're putting the baby for adoption and she starts sobbing, blaming herself for the such little faith Lucas has in his own parenting skills. He breaks down into tears when he overhears the boys talking about how his decision to not keep the baby makes no fucking sense as, according to Yann, there's no perfect timing for a baby. He breaks down into tears when another day, it's the girls he overhears talking about his pregnancy and about how they can't imagine themselves ever putting up their own baby for adoption. He breaks down into tears when one day, they get a call from their social worker, telling them she's finally ready to meet them if they haven't changed their mind.</p><p>He can tell by the way Eliott is holding his breath that he's wishing, pleading, begging the universe for Lucas to have changed his mind and Lucas nearly does so at the moment. He's been trying so hard to not get attached to the baby who's slowly growing inside of him, but it's getting harder every single day. They aren't kicking yet but he started to feel them moving in his belly and he often finds himself gently rubbing his bump, wishing he could be all of those expecting parents and spend hours talking to the baby.</p><p>He wants to tell the social worker they don't need her anymore, to hang up the phone and finally allows himself to enjoy his pregnancy. But he doesn't. Because as much as he wants it, he's still terrified of ruining this baby's life so he agrees for them to meet her. Eliott doesn't have school the next day and only works in the evening while Lucas knows his philosophy teacher will justify his absence when he'll tell her they finally met the social worker.</p><p>So the next morning, they find themselves in Carole's office as she finishes opening their file. She's nice, respectful and on any other day, they would probably get along very well with her but she happens to be the woman who's in charge of finding a family for their baby so she isn't exactly Lucas' favorite right now.</p><p>"So are you looking for an open or a close adoption?" she asks them, finally looking away from her computer screen.</p><p>Their confusion about the difference between the two as she continues speaking.</p><p>"Basically, a close adoption means that you leave it up to us to choose a family and after birth, all ties are cut. The adoptive family leaves with the baby and that's it. Your names won't appear anywhere so they have no way to contact you or anything. An open one is more of a teamwork. I'll give you the files of the families and you get to meet them and pick too who are going to adopt the baby. Usually, people stay in contact after the birth and it's not rare for the adoptive parents to keep sending pictures so you get to see your child grow in a way. That's the one we suggest as it's-"</p><p>"A close one!" Eliott suddenly answers, startling both Lucas and the woman because of how silent he's been through the whole appointment. "I don't want to see our baby growing up if they aren't with us!"</p><p>Carole stutters a little, mumbling that they really don't have to take the decision so quickly but there's something in the older boy's eyes that freezes Lucas on the spot. Ever since the test came out positive, Eliott has been nothing but supportive, never trying to influence any of Lucas' decisions so that he takes this decision so quickly and without trying to hide it speaks volume of how much it must mean to him. Or rather how much it hurts too.</p><p>Lucas gets it. He doesn't want to receive pictures or videos of their baby every once in a while and hear her or him calling another man "Dada" or a woman "Mommy". He doesn't want to see that sneak peak of what could have been had they decided to keep the baby. He doesn't want to mourn their child over and over and over again each time they'll receive some news.</p><p>As his eyes well up with tears, he reaches for Eliott's hand, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing them before turning his attention back to Carole.</p><p>"We want a close adoption," he says calmly despite the storm raging inside of him. "Please."</p><p>It doesn't seem to be the answer the woman was expecting but she nods nonetheless, visibly disappointed and explains how then there isn't any paperwork for them to sign as their names must not appear anywhere. As she keeps speaking, Lucas lays his head over Eliott's shoulder as the older boy presses a kiss to his forehead and squeezes his hand.</p><p>"I love you," he hears his boyfriend so quietly Carole doesn't seem to have even noticed and Lucas prefers pretending he doesn't hear the pleading in Eliott's voice.</p><p>Truth to be told, through the rest of the appointment, voices that sound like his, like Eliott's, Yann's, Mika's and all of their friends' scream inside his head, asking him what the fuck is he doing, telling him to trust his heart and there shouldn't be that much doubt in his mind, that this is a decision he should be in peace with which is clearly not the case.</p><p>The thing is it's not the first time he hears those voices, they've been nearly omnipresent since he first decided to put the baby up for adoption, but they're getting louder now, nearly even louder than the reasonable part of his mind that decided they just couldn't raise a baby yet. And at this point, if they keep getting louder, they might win.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>October 16, 23:06</em> </span>
</p><p>Eliott's insomnia is back. Not that it ever truly left since they found out Lucas was pregnant. He just can't fall asleep at night, always fearing that once he would wake up, the growing bump of his boyfriend would have disappeared just like every evidence of the existence of their baby. The baby he tried so hard to not get attached to but did he ever truly stand a chance though?</p><p>It's his and Lucas' child after all and considering how whipped they've always been for each other, well then, it's not his fault for being absolutely weak against this little human being they've created together. Especially after a day like today.</p><p>Today, they saw their baby. Again. It was Lucas' anatomy scan which means they got to learn the gender of their child. It's a boy. A perfect little boy who was napping, sucking on his thumb when the doctor probed Lucas' bump.</p><p>Eliott nearly broke into tears when he appeared on screen but he had to remain strong for Lucas for who every step must be twice, thrice as tough as it is for him. In another universe, he probably cried happy tears, kissing Lucas while repeating over and over again that it's their son, their baby right there, that it's his little heartbeat they're hearing. But he doesn't get to do it in this universe. In this one, he swallows as the doctor praises them for how perfectly healthy their baby seems to be, unaware they're not keeping him.</p><p>And now, hours later, as they're laying down in bed, Lucas already asleep next to him, the realization hits him like a freight train and before he even knows it, he chokes on a sob as tears start to run down his cheeks. Thankfully, his boyfriend doesn't wake up, just groans as he rolls onto his back and the sight only makes it even harder for Eliott.</p><p>Lucas is, has always been and will forever be beautiful to him but like this, with a hand spread protectively over his growing bump, he looks heavenly and Eliott knows he's absolutely fucked. He doesn't know how he'll survive after the birth. The adoptive family will leave with their son as well as part of Eliott's heart.</p><p>He shouldn't be doing it, to protect what's left of his heart, what he can still prevent from being broken once their baby will be taken away, but he can't help but wonder how they would name him should they be keeping him. He has many names in mind but none that actually sticks out.</p><p>Sighing, he pushes the covers off him and kneels in between Lucas' legs before laying his hands over the bump on his boyfriend's belly. It's absolutely wonderful to see how Lucas' body is changing, adapting, giving their baby the space he needs to grow into this beautiful, perfect boy he's bound to be. In other circumstances, he would constantly have his hands over, rubbing it all the time and talking to him.</p><p>"Hey baby," he whispers softly, stroking the tight skin. "It's Daddy."</p><p>Saying it out loud makes him sob once more and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm down so he doesn't wake Lucas up.</p><p>"I know I'm almost never speaking to you and baby, you have to believe me, I'm so, so terribly sorry."</p><p>He blinks back some more tears and swallows, looking up at the ceiling as he tries to find the right words.</p><p>"I was just trying to protect myself because of how much it's going to hurt in a few months when you'll come out and they'll take you away but I promise you, baby, from now on, I'm going to try to make the most out of the time we have left together, okay?"</p><p>He doesn't expect an answer but he still takes a moment to get a hold of himself. It already hurts so, so much but if it's all he can get with their son, then so be it.</p><p>"I swear, that lady, Carole, is going to find you awesome parents. Parents who will love you so much but they will never love you nearly as much as I love you. Or as much as your Papa does. It's why we're giving you up, my little jellybean. It's so you can have parents who will give you everything you deserve. Me and Papa, we're too young and we could never spoil you as much as we want but that doesn't mean we don't love you, okay? I want you to never, ever think we gave you up because we didn't love you."</p><p>He lets out a humorless chuckle as he lays down, using Lucas' stomach as a pillow he covers in kisses and tears.</p><p>"I love you so much, my little jellybean," he whispers, his voice trembling. "I love you more than you can imagine and believe me that if it was only up to me, I would keep you right here with us but your Papa is right, it's for the best for you and I can't be selfish and not give you your best chances."</p><p>As if saying it had drained him of all his energy, he closes his eyelids and presses one, then two, then three more kisses to the bump, feeling him falling asleep but just before passing out, he manages to whisper it one more time.</p><p>"I love you, baby, I love you so much. I don't want to give you up."</p><p>***</p><p>The next morning, when Lucas wakes up and he finds his boyfriend asleep against his bump, holding him tightly as if he was scared someone was going to take him away, the younger boy chokes on a sob and closes his eyes, trying to pretend the sight isn't ripping his heart out of his chest.</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">November 21, 10:13</span> </em>
</p><p>After finding Eliott hugging his belly, Lucas tries to pay more attention, wondering if maybe he wasn't so focused on himself he forgot to look at his boyfriend but what he finds out only makes him feel even worse. He sees the way Eliott looks at the kids they meet when they walk down the street with envy, he listens to those secret conversations his boyfriend has with the baby when he thinks Lucas is sleeping. Then, one day, while he's cleaning up the apartment while the older boy is working, he finds a sketchbook he never saw before and his curiosity gets the best of him. He opens him but each drawing feels like he's being stabbed in the heart over and over again.</p><p>It's full of doodles of a hedgehog and a raccoon, nothing he hasn't seen before, but in those ones, there's a third little animal with them, a baby lion. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who it's supposed to represent. With both him and Eliott as biological parents, it would be surprising for the baby to not have a head full of wild hair.</p><p>The three animals are cuddling, taking walks together, playing football, video games. In one of them, the raccoon is helping the lion stand up while the hedgehog is a few steps away, encouraging him to walk up to him. In another, the lion cub is sitting on the potty with both the hedgehog and the raccoon are cheering up for him. It's basically what his and Eliott would be if only…</p><p>The further along he gets, the harder it becomes to pretend it's the right thing to do, especially when no one seems to agree with him. Eliott, although he would never say so out loud, his parents-in-law and his own mother, Mika and Camille, the grew, Idriss and Sofiane. No one tries to change his mind but some are more vocal in their disagreement than others.</p><p>Mika warns him he might regret his decision someday, Imane slips flyers from organizations that help young parents into his bag whenever they meet up for study sessions, Arthur says it's a sad thing the first member of the next generation of the grew won't even get to be part of it. Yann is oddly the quietest. Beside that conversation he overheard early on the pregnancy, his best friend barely speaks of it, always dodging the question whenever someone asks his opinion about it and it bothers Lucas.</p><p>He wants someone who knows him better than anyone to tell him once and for all what they truly think. Eliott won't say anything no matter how much Lucas pleads him to say something so the next person on his list is Yann who's resolve to stay silent can be broken if Lucas insists enough so that's what he's planning to do.</p><p>He asked his best friend to come to his and Eliott's apartment as they're overdue for some boy time and Yann bought it. He's now sitting in one of the kitchen chairs while Lucas is pouring him a cup of coffee as well as a tea for himself all while thinking of what he's going to say to him. He considers different ways, different approaches but in the end, he wants the truth so no bullshit and he goes right for it.</p><p>"Do you think I'm making a mistake?" he bluntly asks as he sits down, handing Yann the mug.</p><p>However, the other boy doesn't even seem surprised by his sudden outburst, just nonchalantly shrugging as he takes a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"Depends on your definition of mistake I guess," he answers, sounding totally disinterested but Lucas knows him better than that.</p><p>"No bullshit Yann!" he stated out, feeling his frustration rise. "You're the only one I can trust to tell me exactly what you think so please, do you think I'm making a mistake by giving up the baby for adoption?"</p><p>"Absolutely!" his best friend states right back at him. "Probably the biggest mistake of your entire life!"</p><p>And although that's exactly the answer he was expecting, Lucas sinks back into his chair and sighs, one hand coming to rest over his belly as the baby kicks, as if he was approving of Yann's reply.</p><p>"Don't get me wrong," Yann continues, looking down as he starts to run his fingers over the rim of his mug. "Your situation is far from being simple and I wouldn't want to be in your place right now but it's still nowhere as complicated as you seem to be making it out to be."</p><p>"Explain," Lucas asks, curious to know the reasoning behind his best friend's answer.</p><p>"You're only 18, Eliott is 20 and neither of you is done with school yet."</p><p>"So?" Lucas presses on, not sure to understand where he's going with this.</p><p>But he's startled when Yann slaps the table before pointing a finger at him.</p><p>"Exactly! So what? But those are the only things that stop you from seeing this baby as he actually is which is the purest form of you and Eliott's love!"</p><p>He stops a moment to breathe and takes another sip of coffee before continuing.</p><p>"Sure, you're not rolling in money thanks to the videoclub but do I have to remind you that your parents-in-law are disgustingly rich and you basically only have one word to say for them to start helping you and Eliott financially?"</p><p>Lucas knows he's right. All he got to do is call Audrey and Louis, tell them "Guess what? We're keeping the baby after all!" and within an hour, there would be a delivery truck in front of their building, full of furniture, toys and clothes for their son,</p><p>"And if you're worried about not having a babysitter for the kid, you've got over fifteen people lined up who are all waiting for their turn to spend some time alone with him, including me."</p><p>Then, in an unlike Yann fashion, he reaches for Lucas' hand, squeezing it reassuringly.</p><p>"I mean it, bro. We're all here for you if you need us and I really think you shouldn't be giving this baby up because the way I know you, you're going to spend your whole life thinking about him anyway so you might as well keep him."</p><p>This doesn't sort out all of the problems related to keeping the baby or not but Lucas does feel slightly lighter after their conversation and the voices in his head that are screaming at him to not put up his and Eliott's son for adoption keep getting louder.</p><p>For the first time though since he learned he was pregnant, he decides he wants to keep at least some memories of it. He strips down to his boxers and takes pictures of himself from different angles as he also notes down some measurements. His weight, his baby bump, his hips. If Eliott can have those conversations with the baby, then Lucas can have those pictures.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>December 8, 13:32</em> </span>
</p><p>Eliott is in the middle of a literature class when his phone buzzes in his pocket so he lets it go to the voicemail. Thankfully, his teacher is so enthralled into his own monologue he doesn't even flinch at the sound. It can't be Lucas though as he puts his boyfriend as a priority contact so should he call him with an emergency, his phone would still ring despite being on silent mode. He warned all of his teachers of the situation and they've all been pretty understanding of it.</p><p>He has to wait another hour before the class is finally over so he can check who called and left him a voicemail. He feels panic rising as he recognizes the number as Carole's and with shaking fingers, he opens up his voicemail.</p><p>"Hi Eliott!" Carole's excited voice greets him and he can nearly picture the smile on her face. "I know you're in class at the moment but I have a great news for you! I think I found the right family for the baby! I know you and Lucas told me you wanted a close adoption but I thought you would be happy to know it's a gay couple! I-"</p><p>But he hangs up before she finishes talking and suddenly, it feels like the ground has opened up underneath him, swallowing him whole. The corridor around him starts spinning, making him dizzy and his knees give up. He falls to the floor as he struggles to breathe. He can vaguely hear the voices of other students, worrying about him, asking for help and he can see their shapes although they're mostly all blurred in his eyes.</p><p>Someone lays a hand over his shoulder, shaking him, trying to bring him back and he finally lets out a pained whimper before breaking down into tears. He buries his face into his hands and just lets himself cry. There's a hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, another squeezing reassuringly his knee, soft voices whispering sweet nothings to him.</p><p>It can't be happening. It can't be. Their baby isn't just a piece of marchandise people can just preorder like that. He's a little human being that he and Lucas should be allowed to mourn properly and not just give away like a box of cereals at the grocery store.</p><p>Eventually, he calms just enough to look up and meet the worried stares of the students and teachers who had gathered around him. None of them seems amused by his breakdown and someone asks him if there's somebody they could call for him.</p><p>He briefly wants to say Lucas but he stops himself. The last thing his boyfriend needs at the moment is to worry about him so instead he digs his phone out of his pockets and unlocks it before handing it to the girl sitting down beside him, not feeling well enough to do the call himself.</p><p>"Look in my contacts for Idriss," he tells her, his voice hoarse and feeling like he's swallowed gravel.</p><p>She nods and does as she's told. His best friend sounds surprised that it's not Eliott calling him but as soon as the girl explains the situation, he immediately agrees to come and pick him up.</p><p>He gets his phone back and slowly stands up, still feeling like his knees are two seconds away from giving up again but the girl and a teacher accompany him to the front doors and find him a bench to sit down on as they all wait for Idriss. The teacher hands a water bottle to Eliott who thanks him but shakes his head. He doubts he could keep anything down at the moment, not even water and after the show he's just made, the last thing he wants is to throw up too.</p><p>Soon enough, Idriss' old beat up car parks right in front of them and he and Sofiane nearly launch themselves out of it, crossing the distance between them and Eliott in quick, wide steps. He collapses into their arms as another sob rips its way out of his throat and they both hold him upward, rubbing his back, hugging him tightly.</p><p>"It's okay," Sofiane whispers into his ear. "It's going to be okay, Eli."</p><p>But it's not. Eliott knows it's not. A family already has their eyes set on his and Lucas' baby and in about two months, they're going to permanently take his son away from him.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>February 15, 8:28</em> </span>
</p><p>Today should be a happy day. Today officially marks the two year anniversary of their first kiss. They should be celebrating, going back to the Petite Ceinture like they did the year before but instead, they're both at the apartment, feeling more at odds with each other than ever before. Lucas was due a few days ago so he's taking it easy right now, waiting while Eliott has taken a few days off school and work so he could be with his boyfriend for when labor will start.</p><p>The younger boy is inside, probably pacing around like he's been doing since Friday but Eliott couldn't stand to stay there so he got out and has been standing on the balcony for over an hour now, trying to settle his thoughts a little.</p><p>In another universe, Eliott number 38275 is probably sweet talking their son into coming out soon so he finally gets to hold him while number 9062 is currently having sex with his Lucas as he's read it could trigger labor. But Eliott number 1 can't do either of these things. He doesn't want their son to come out as he knows that means he will be taken away. As for sex, he and Lucas have barely touched each other since they found out the younger boy was pregnant.</p><p>The inevitable is coming and it scares Eliott deep to the bones. He's had months to mentally prepare for this but he doubts even a lifetime would have been enough. All he knows is that he doesn't want to see the baby because if he does, then Carole and the adoptive family will have to rip him out of his arms if they want to get him.</p><p>"Eliott?" his boyfriend asks, startling him as he steps outside.</p><p>He wipes away the tears that have started to roll down his cheeks before turning around to face Lucas.</p><p>"Yeah?" he replies, hoping his voice sounds more steady than it feels like.</p><p>"I know you're angry at me right now but I need you. He's coming."</p><p>And there's way too many things to decipher at once in those two sentences. Eliott's first instinct is to reassure his boyfriend that he's not angry, that he could never be. Then, there's Lucas' shaking voice and heartbroken face and all the older boy wants to do is to wrap his arms around him and hug him as tightly as the bump in between them allows him. Only then does Lucas' final words kick in. He's coming.</p><p>"Shit!" he swears out loud, feeling his panic rising. "Now?"</p><p>"Now!" Lucas confirms with a humorless chuckle filled with anxiety.</p><p>***</p><p>The day goes on horribly slowly. Once they get to the hospital, Lucas was given a room to wait until he's dilated enough to push<br/>
Every 30 minutes or so, a nurse comes to check on his vitals and updates them both on the progress of the labor. When he's halfway through it, Eliott asks his boyfriend if he wants him to call Carole so she can warn the family. Not that he wants to share this moment with anyone, but he promised to respect Lucas' decision.</p><p>"No," Lucas declines, shaking his head before reaching for the older boy's hand, squeezing his fingers. "They'll have the baby's whole life to spend time with him. This moment is ours and ours alone."</p><p>Eliott feels his heart swelling up with love in his chest and he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips. It feels like the first rays of sunshine after a thunderstorm, like the first sip of a hot chocolate after spending a whole day outside playing in the snow, it feels like coming home. Not that they haven't kissed through the pregnancy but this kiss feels different, like they're finally making peace with the last months' events, with the decisions they've taken. Lucas did what he couldn't do and put their baby's well being over everything else, the way Eliott should have done from the beginning.</p><p>"I love you," he whispers after pulling back, their noses brushing against each other's. "I love you so much Lucas and I'm sorry if I ever made you felt like I was angry at you. I was just-"</p><p>"Grieving?" his boyfriend finishes for him, cupping his cheeks. "You shouldn't have needed to. I took so many decisions by myself because you wouldn't tell me what you wanted or not but I should have pushed you harder."</p><p>"But it was your choice to make," Eliott argues as a tear rolls down his cheek.</p><p>Lucas doesn't seem to agree though as he shakes his head and pulls him into another kiss.</p><p>"It's our baby," he presses on with a tired smile. "It was just as much your choice than mine and-"</p><p>But whatever Lucas was about to say is cut when another contraction hits and he hisses in pain, squeezing Eliott's hand. The older boy helps him breathe through it as they wait for it to be over.</p><p>"I'm here," he whispers against Lucas, forehead, running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>***</p><p>It takes Lucas a few hours until he's finally dilated enough to be sent to the delivery room. The nurses give Eliott blue scrubs to change into as they prepare his boyfriend and that's when the older boy finally steps into the room that the realization hits. Their baby is about to be born and then taken away.</p><p>"Eliott!" Lucas cries out when he sees him, his eyes already welling up with tears and it's enough to shake him out of his thoughts.</p><p>As much as he loves their son and that it will hurt to give him up, Lucas is and remains his priority.</p><p>"I'm here," he reassures the younger boy, taking his hand in his. "I'm here and I'm never going to leave you, okay?"</p><p>But if he thought the waiting part was the worst, it can't compare to what it feels to see and listen to Lucas screaming out in pain as he starts pushing. He squeezes Eliott's fingers hard enough to break them, hissing in between each contraction.</p><p>"Ah!" his boyfriend yells, sitting upright in bed, his free hand clutching at the sheet underneath him.</p><p>"I can see the head!" the doctor warns them from her spot in between Lucas' legs. "One more push!"</p><p>The younger boy lets out a pained whimper but does as he's told and pushes one last time. For a second, nothing happens but then a powerful scream echoes into the room and Eliott immediately shuts his eyes as his heart shatters into a million pieces.</p><p>"It's a boy!" the doctor proudly announces and Eliott breaks into tears, refusing to even look at his son because if he does so, then he will never be able to let go of him.</p><p>"Take him away," Eliott whispers, pleading them as each second he spends listening to the baby's cries feels like he's getting his heart ripped out of his chest. "Take him away please. Please!"</p><p>***</p><p>Lucas was expecting childbirth to be painful but it pales next to the hole he feels forming in his chest as he hears their son's first screams echoing through the room and knowing those might be the only ones he will hear from him. He and Eliott will have more children someday but none of them will ever be this little boy right here who seems to have one solid set of lungs, who's crying his heart out of the world, wanting to be comforted, this little boy who Lucas is quickly falling for.</p><p>He didn't want to see him, he didn't want to see what he was giving up on so he closed his eyes as soon as he felt the baby slip out of him. But now, as he hears those pleading cries, he feels his resolve breaking.</p><p>"Take him away please," Eliott begs beside him. "Please!"</p><p>"It's not too late you know," the doctor informs them in a reassuring tone. "It's not too late for you if you changed your mind."</p><p>But he keeps his eyes close, tears rolling down his cheeks as he reminds himself why he took this decision in the first place. However, he remembers the conversation he's had with Yann, all those times he caught Eliott telling the baby how much he loved him and for the first time, he wonders what he truly wants. The answer comes immediately. He wants this kid, he wants to raise their son with Eliott, he wants to become a dad. He wants to be selfish and to maybe not give this baby everything he wants but everything they can give him.</p><p>"Wait!" he pleads, opening his eyes right as one of the nurses is taking their son away. "Let me hold him!"</p><p>He sees the relief on everyone's face as he says so and he can't stop himself from smiling as the nurse carefully places in his arms that little bundle wrapped up in a blue blanket. As soon as he sees the baby, Lucas truly, madly falls in love again. There's already so much thick brown hair on top of his head, his cheeks are flushed from screaming out loud and he's wiggling his little fists around. He truly is the cutest, most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life.</p><p>"Hi!" Lucas greets their son, giving him his thumb to hold. "Hello! Oh my God! You are so beautiful!"</p><p>He can feel how tense Eliott is becoming next to him. His boyfriend's eyes are still shut close while tears roll down his cheeks.</p><p>"Eli!" he excitedly calls his boyfriend, grinning so widely his cheeks are starting to hurt. "Say hi to your son!"</p><p>But the older boy just shakes his head vigorously as a sob escapes his mouth.</p><p>"I can't," he cries, his voice breaking. "I can't! They're going to take him away!"</p><p>"What if I told you I wanted to raise him then?"</p><p>His words send a shiver through Eliott's whole body and his eyes snap wide open, but the terror hasn't left them yet.</p><p>"You mean it?" he asks in a hopeful tone. "You really mean it?"</p><p>Giggling, Lucas nods happily.</p><p>"I want it! It's not going to be easy but together, I know we can do it!"</p><p>Finally, Eliott looks down and he breaks into another round of tears as his eyes finally meet their baby's and Lucas can see the realization wash over him.</p><p>They're parents. They have a baby. A little baby that is all theirs now. Lucas' mind briefly drifts to Carole and the family but he can't be bothered to be sad for her. This boy is theirs so if they want to raise him, then so be it!</p><p>***</p><p>Baby Lallemant-Demaury is born on February 15, 2021 at exactly 20:27 much to his parents' amusement when they realize their son was born exactly two years after they first kissed. When the doctor ask for a name, neither of them know what to say as it's not something they ever allowed themselves to think about.</p><p>"Don't worry," she reassures them with a warm smile. "You've got some time to find him a good name. For now, he'll just be known as Baby Lallemant-Demaury."</p><p>And Baby is perfect. 19 inches and 8 pounds. 9 out of 10 on the Apgar scale. Absolutely perfect and Lucas doesn't think he's going to look away from him anytime soon.</p><p>He can't believe they got this close to give him up, that he was about to willingly let go of him forever. But it's okay because he's with them now and he's not going anywhere.</p><p>The nurses have brought the two of them back to Lucas' room and after making sure he and Eliott were okay with feeding their son a bottle, they left the little family alone so they could get to know each other better.</p><p>That had been three hours ago but for Lucas, it's nowhere near enough. He should have been enjoying those last few months rather than dreading them but now is not the time for regret though. Now is the time for happiness.</p><p>"You've got an idea of what to name him?" he wonders, looking over his shoulder to his boyfriend.</p><p>Eliott is sitting down behind him, holding him tightly and watching as Lucas is feeding their son.</p><p>"I think I've got one," he admits as his smile widens some more, his cheeks probably hurting. "Do you?"</p><p>"I do," he confesses, leaning in so their noses are brushing against each other's. "We say it at the same time?"</p><p>Eliott pulls him into a quick, soft kiss and nods.</p><p>"One," Lucas starts counting. "Two. Three."</p><p>"Jackson!"</p><p>They burst into a fit of giggles and Eliott buries his face into his neck. Why is Lucas not even surprised they found the same name without even speaking to each other. What could possibly be better than an hommage to his Daddy's favorite artist, the one who, in a way, helped them find their way back to each other.</p><p>They call in for a nurse and Charlotte, one who has been in the delivery room with them, walks into their room, smiling.</p><p>"We found a name!" Eliott proudly announces as he runs a hand up and down Lucas' side. "Jackson Lallemant-Demaury!"</p><p>She nods and her smile widens as she steps in closer, taking a look at Jackson.</p><p>"Beautiful!" she agrees on, chuckling. "And he's got a face for it."</p><p>She tells them she's going to fill up the paperwork but she stops in her tracks right before passing the doorway and turns back to look at them.</p><p>"Before I forget, a social worker from the hospital has taken up your case and informed your own of your decision to keep that little wonder."</p><p>"And now?" Lucas can't help but worry, his arms tightening around their baby.</p><p>"He's all yours!" Charlotte immediately reassures him, grinning. "Although I assume you've got friends and family who would be happy to meet him! It's too late for visits but just for you, I can do an exception."</p><p>They thank her both profusely for what she's done today and she tells them she's just doing her job before walking out of their room. Once they're alone again, the two boys kiss again as it dawns on them. It's truly over. No more calls from Carole. No more tiptoeing around each other. No more guilt or sadness. Jackson is theirs now.</p><p>"Who do you want to call first?" he asks his boyfriend.</p><p>***</p><p>"Who do you want to call first?"</p><p>Everyone. Eliott wants everyone to know they've just had a baby, that they're parents now but he can't really shout it at the top of his lungs so he thinks of the two people he wants to see more than anyone else.</p><p>"Can we call my parents?" he suggests in a nearly pleading tone.</p><p>They're the first ones he had told about the baby, just after finding out. They've spent the last months grieving a grandson they would never see. Just like Lucas' mother but she's not allowed out of the facility late at night.</p><p>"You think your father is going to cry?" Lucas teases, brushing their noses together.</p><p>Letting out a watery chuckle, Eliott nods.</p><p>"He's going to be bawling his eyes out by the time they get here."</p><p>With an arm still wrapped tightly around his little family, he digs his phone out of his pockets with his free hand and scrolls down until he reaches his mother. It's getting late but the way he knows them, they must have been just as insomniac as him since Lucas was meant to give birth.</p><p>Clearing his throat, he tries to get serious and presses "call". She answers on the first ring.</p><p>"Eliott?" she immediately worries. "Are you okay? Is Lucas okay? Is the baby-"</p><p>"It's done," he tells her, trying to not let his excitement show in his voice. "He's born."</p><p>He can hear her choking on a sob and his eyes well up with tears at the sound. Just a few hours ago, he was terrified of his boyfriend giving birth because it meant they were going to take his baby away.</p><p>"Oh Eliott," his father tells him, probably taking the phone out of her hands "Is there anything your mother or I can do for you? Anything?"</p><p>"There is!" he declares, his smile widening as Lucas' face mirrors his own. "You can get in the car and come to meet your grandson!"</p><p>"Wha-ouch!" his father exclaims before it's his mother talking to him once again.</p><p>"Eliott Demaury, what did you just say?"</p><p>But he doesn't get to answer as Lucas beats him to it.</p><p>"We're keeping him!" he laughs, his voice filled with a mix of relief and happiness and relief. "So now, do you want to come and meet your grandson, yes or no?"</p><p>Exactly seventeen minutes later, his parents burst through the door of their room and they break into tears when Lucas hands them Jackson.</p><p>"Hello you!" his father greets the baby, laughing through his tears as he rubs his cheek with his finger. "You're going to be a heartbreaker, aren't you. Looking as beautiful as you do, I'm sure of it."</p><p>"We're going to need some help though," Eliott confesses, slightly embarrassed but his mother isn't having any of it, waving his concerns away with the back of her hand.</p><p>"Don't you worry about anything else than taking care of your little family," she assures him, her eyes shining with mischief as if she already had a plan.</p><p>"Audrey-" Lucas starts but she shakes her head as her grin widens.</p><p>"I might have spent the last months buying stuff, hoping you would change your mind. If you hadn't, I would have given it to charity but I'm much happier to give it all to my grandson."</p><p>Lucas and Eliott share a look before turning back to look at her.</p><p>"Stuff?" the older boy repeats after his mother, wanting her to clarify.</p><p>"Everything you can need," his father explains as he takes the baby out of his wife's arms. "Furnitures, clothes, toys, diapers. Don't worry, I'll get it all delivered to your new place before you get released from here."</p><p>"New place?" they both exclaim, making the older couple laugh in unison.</p><p>"Of course I found you a new place!" his mother states as if it was obvious. "As big as your current apartment is, there's no room for a nursery in there so I looked nearby for something slightly bigger and I found you a new apartment with two bedrooms, ideal for you three. All paperworks are not signed yet as I was waiting to see if you would need it after all but I'll call the owner first thing in the morning."</p><p>After that though, it's as if Lucas and Eliott have grown completely uninteresting and his parents give their full attention to their grandson, cooing at how beautiful he is and how much they love him.</p><p>Chuckling, Eliott looks at his boyfriend who already has the same disbelief as him in his eyes.</p><p>"Can you believe them?" the older boy asks although his voice is filled with amusement.</p><p>"They've had you so yeah, I can believe it!" Lucas teases in playful tone before pulling him in for a kiss.</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>February 18, 11:49</em>
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</p><p>Lucas and Jackson are released from the hospital three days later after the doctor made sure they were both okay. Their new social worker has given them informations on different resources they can use if they have trouble dealing with their new reality but they doubt they'll need it. They know how lucky they are to have all the support they've got. Lucas' mother visited them the day after Jack was born, repeating over and over again how proud of them she was. However, they still haven't told any of their friends, wanting to keep the surprise for a little longer.</p><p>Now, Audrey and Louis have just drove them to their new place which absolutely gorgeous. They've already moved all of Lucas and Eliott's stuff in there as well as Jackson's. They just have to unpack the boxes and decorate now but that can wait another day. Today, their son is about to meet a whole new lot of people, his uncles and aunts. They try to come up with the best way to let everyone know the first member of the next generation of the grew is born and well and they find easily.</p><p>Eliott makes Lucas sit down on the couch, Jackson craddled up to his chest before snapping a picture of the two of them. He posts it on Instagram with a simple but meaningful caption.</p><p><em>My muse and our masterpiece</em> ❤🦔🦁</p><p>It takes only a few seconds before both of their phones start blowing up with notifications. Idriss and Yann are the first ones to call though, a grand total of 53 seconds after he posted the picture. Lucas takes Yann's call while Eliott handles his own best friend.</p><p>"Is that a fucking joke?" he calls him through the phone, a little too loud for Eliott's ears but nothing could possibly ruin his mood today.</p><p>"You think I'd be joking about something so important?" he asks, chuckling. "It's a long story so why don't you come and meet him yourself? I'll text you our new adress. If you get here first, you'll be the godfather!"</p>
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